5. Make Oral Sex Puns
For a media who was hesitant to discuss oral sex when it was happening inn the Oval Office, they cavalierly approach the subject by way of the least creative humor humanity can muster: the pun.
Anderson Cooper tops the list.
Cooper: It's hard to talk when you're teabagging.
Thanks, CNN. Always keeping it classy.
4. Interview the Crazy Person
The Modus Operandi for coverage of all things conservative for the media is to located the craziest person in the group and interview him. Here is the order of preference if you would like to start an "unbiased" network of your own.
1. Anyone dressed in camo
2. Woman in a moo-moo
3. The Morbidly Obese
4. Person holding most inflammatory sign
CNN's Susan Roesgen was forced to go with option 4. She found some dude with Obama photoshopped as Hitler and thought, "Here's a good representation of what's happening here."
The focus for now is only on the first
3 and 2 and 1. Jettison Journalism Entirely / Miss the Point of the Protest / Claim the Protest is NC-17
We go back to Susan Roesgen of CNN for this one since she committed all three in one fell swoop in this clip.
The only thing that identifies Roesgen as a journalist in this video is the microphone she is holding. After she finishes
And she identifies them as "anti-government" and "anti-CNN." Of course 10 seconds of research would reveal that the tea parties were not "anti-government;" they're anti-BIG-government. Those three letters, B-I-G, are important.
Roesgen is not used to combinations of three letters amounting to much, working at C-N-N and all.
You have to feel bad for CNN though. Imagine how embarrassed CNN and MSNBC must be after a long day of "journalism" when FOX News enters the showers to reveal it's long list of 2.8 million viewers as compared to their audiences of a paltry 1.2 million and 1.1 million viewers respectively.
If Freud saw this video he would immediately identify Roesgen's "anti-CNN" projection as nothing more than ratings envy.
But all of that discussion of liberty and fiscal responsibility was too much for CNN viewers to handle, so Roesgen identifies the protests as "not family viewing."
Lucky for CNN though; nobody was watching anyway.